I heard we made out
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
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