Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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