i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
