Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
