dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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