Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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