I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
