so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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