Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize