There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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