Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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