I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
