her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize