epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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