Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
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