yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
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The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
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At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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