i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
