Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
