The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
