Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
