She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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