you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
