She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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