Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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