Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Randomize
