he looks like a really good dad on facebook
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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