Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
