I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize