very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
