she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
