I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
So much rum. So many feels.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
