I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
