Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
