Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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