She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
