Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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