ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
