We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Randomize
