I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
