I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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