i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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