brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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