I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
