Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
