Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
what is it with giant penises always finding me
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
