when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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