And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
