oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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