return my video game
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
