Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
