I'm so fucking centered right now
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
