please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
