I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Randomize
