8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
