I don't remember. Are we still dating?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
