is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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