Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay