Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.