We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is