@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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