she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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