four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
